Different women react to their diagnosis in different ways. The initial shock and the worry about what type of treatment will be done and when is often the most difficult time. Some may want to talk about every detail. Others may be close-lipped, and not want anyone around them. All are coping with overwhelming emotions. Treatment procedures can leave women feeling tired and with no energy or interest to be out and about. However a woman reacts to the challenge of breast cancer, the support of friends and family members is a crucial component of her successful treatment and recovery. Here are some ways you can support someone who has breast cancer.

Do let her know you want to help by offering to do specific tasks such as cooking, errands, child care, taking her to treatment, praying, etc. Organize with others to provide food for family members or share her and her family's transportation and after-school care needs. Make the offer and let her choose - when she needs to.
Don't assume you know what's "best" - let her decide what she needs. Don't just offer to do "anything"- this can be overwhelming and might make it difficult to ask you for help.

Don't talk about doing something and then not follow through. Don't give up or become frustrated if she doesn't respond to your offers of help - she needs to know you're there, if and when she needs you.

Do be consistent with your offers through phone messages or notes. Let her know you're thinking of her throughout her diagnosis, treatment and recovery. Acknowledge that you can see that she seems angry, sad or frightened. Understand that she's going through a difficult time.

Don't forget that your friend's struggle begins, not ends, with diagnosis and initial treatment. She'll need your support over the long haul. Don't tell her she shouldn't feel the way she does or try to get her to "snap out of it" if she's feeling down.

Do ask if she might be interested in joining a support group. Offer to research available groups and meeting times. Ask if she'd like to know about people you know who have survived breast cancer, and, if she does, share their stories.

Don't tell her she must join a support group - not everyone feels comfortable in group situations. Don't just tell her about your friends or relatives who have had breast cancer, or about something you read or saw on TV. Some women find that they are emotionally overwhelmed by other people's experiences.

Do try to understand that her moods and feelings can change frequently and that her behavior may even seem to be out of character. Remain patient, kind and available, if needed.

Don't expect that she will behave and feel the same way all the time. Don't let your own fears keep you from being the good friend she needs.

You can support the cause of breast cancer by purchasing special "semi-postal" Breast Cancer stamps through the US Postal Service, which supports breast cancer
research, or participating in a "Komen Race for the Cure"(r) event sponsored by the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. For information, call the Komen Foundation's National Toll-free Breast Care Helpline 1-888-603RACE(r) or check out their website at http://www.raceforthecure.com/